Sunday, July 31, 2016

I'm posting this because I love Toshiro Mifune and Akira Kurosawa and because I'm sick of looking at that goddamn Caitlyn Jenner costume on my facebook feed. 

If you haven't, add Kurosawa's "Yojimbo" to your queue, and you will understand how brilliantly Clint Eastwood borrowed this artform and made it his own. 

Next time I'll talk about lipstick or something. 

Saturday, October 31, 2015

To All You Guys Going as "Caitlyn:" It's Okay, Darling, We Know.

There’s already plenty of justifiable outrage among my trans brothers and sisters about the top trending Caitlyn Jenner costume this Halloween; I don’t need to repeat why it upsets us. That said, I have a public service announcement.

To the Guys Wearing the Caitlyn Jenner Costume this Halloween:

Finally, darling, right?! 

You’ve been waiting your whole life for a chance like this. We know the longing in your heart, and we’ll be there for you. We know how you duped your wives, girlfriends and partners into finding shoes, and how they had to be the right shoes.

Sure, they looked at you a little strangely when you said you wanted to shave your legs. We know how long you are looking in that mirror when no one is around. We know that you are going to hide that wig and shoes in a special place.

Breathe, darling. It’s OK.

Sure, there will be laughs at the party, especially when two of you in the costume pose for a shot together. Let’s see what they think next year when the two of you come as Jessica Rabbit and Katy Perry and announce you are moving in together.

It won’t be easy, darling, being the only ones in your town, but we know. Start saving for laser hair removal now; take a tip from a sister. No, breasts aren’t really that expensive.

We’ll be here.



Saturday, August 29, 2015

Since people are talking about #caitlynjenner 's visit  to the #abbey on social media today , allow me to share one from the vault. I'm pretty proud of my writing in this one.

"Fifty years ago, there would have been queer blood on this street, instead of queer love. Barney’s Beanery used to have a sign that said “Fagots: Stay Out”

"You can’t blame us for dancing. You can’t blame us for drinking and holding our bodies close. It’s harder to beat us and kill us, but it still happens. You raised us to hate ourselves, and only now are we barely human to you.

"I used to drink because I hated myself. I drank because I was never going to take Debbie to the Senior Prom: I wanted to be Debbie, in long white gloves and a backless dress, smoking on the patio with the other girls in shoes that were too tight.

"The THOOOOMP around us drives home the escape, the flight, the sensual overload we need to remember that we still may be strangers here; we drink, we tweak, we fuck, we snort, we rave. I used to try for that zone, that precious zone where the cocaine and tequila took me for a brief walk on a night with a cool breeze like this one, with a rain of jacaranda blossoms, in my dreams because in truth I was never going to be a girl; I was sentenced to life as a false front; I had the rage that only a prisoner feels, and if I’m honest with myself, I still do and always will."

From "Closing Time"  (c) 2014-15 Darya Teesewell